Life sometimes throws you a curve, and yet, those moments can be the defining moments of life. Major life setbacks can be the impetus that propels us toward a better future than we ever imagined. Setbacks, far from being something that ruins a life, can indeed push one in the direction of greatness. The difference between transforming a life and ruining it can be found in a person’s responses when a major life setback comes their way.

When a major setback happens, we can respond in one of two ways: feel sorry for ourselves and wonder “why me,” or overcome and move on. Focusing on loss keeps people from moving on. Surrendering their will to the problem, they give up. Others mourn their loss, but look at it as a new opportunity. For them, setbacks equal opportunities, not failure. Setbacks teach us if we are willing to listen. The key is to choose to take the setbacks and use them to move forward in a new direction.

Recovering and thriving after a major setback involves several key ingredients that come from within. One can choose to change after a setback, and the setback itself may launch a positive change if it results in renewed courage and modified thinking. One strategy for encouragement when one is facing a major life setback is to read the biographies of great people, who had setback after setback and still rose above it all. Albert Einstein failed math in school and rose to be one if the greatest mathematical thinkers of our time. Ben Franklin had many failures before his successes. Oprah Winfrey rose from poverty, abuse, and a failed newscaster job to become one of the most well-known, influential and wealthy women in the world. There are many inspiring people out there to choose from. From their lives, we can learn what we need to survive major life setbacks.

Key ingredients include: a positive attitude, ability to see the big picture, courage to go on, faith in yourself and the process, and determination. These ingredients, mixed together, can make the difference between someone whose life will read back as a failure and someone whose life will join the annals of those who overcame.

A positive attitude goes a long way in an often negative world. Those who feel they can’t probably won’t. A positive attitude tells us we’ve only hit a bump in the road and gives us the ability to see the big picture. They say life is like a tapestry: God sees it from above, in all its glory; but we see it from below, where the knots and dark threads show. The person who rises above setbacks will be the one who visualizes the tapestry from above, understanding that the dark threads and knots are needed to complete their beautiful life tapestry.

Seeing the big picture allows us to have the courage we need to pick ourselves up and go on with our life. Courage allows us to keep going even when it looks as though our tapestry has been wrecked from where we stand. We trust that the tapestry isn’t finished yet, and keep moving toward its beautiful completion; that is faith. We don’t know in which direction the weaver is taking it, but we know we are not finished yet. He may have tied a knot in our life, but then he added a new thread and continued to weave. Finally, determination lets us take the other ingredients and face our future head on; overcoming is a choice. We are all capable of choosing life over failure if we do.

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This article contributed by Angela S. Young - a writer at Helium.com