Been there! Done it! At the time, things seemed so difficult, but in retrospect, the journey was amazingly simple. When you are grasping for a second chance, it means you are in a difficult place right now. Your personal resources are at their lowest, so you need a straightforward formula to help you get back on your feet.

1. Write down all your problems and the way you feel about yourself.

This should be a cinch, because bad thoughts have been whirling around in your brain constantly. Start each line with the phrase: “The old me (fill in the rest of this sentence). What you are doing is getting the worries out of your head and onto paper so you can see the extent of your difficulty. You will eventually run out of entries and recognize the finite limits of your problems.

2. Now write a list of conditions, attitudes, and changes that you want to achieve.

Start each line: “The new me will (fill in the rest of the sentence). Naturally, you are going to refer to the “old me” list to help. The “new me” list will be harder to write, but should be open ended so you can add to it at any time. Don’t worry about the order. What you are doing is preparing a written description of the person you will change into. Instead of vague ideas, you will have a very specific “profile” of what you are aiming for.

3. Prepare a “To Do” list for each and every “new you” item.

Make sure you write out measurable items. Whenever possible, write them in terms of actions, places, people, times and such. For example: “Make appointment with Dr. Jones for a full physical by the end of tomorrow.” Some measures may not be so obvious, so you might have to do some community research.

4. Do not implement change alone!

Search out community resources using the Yellow Pages, Internet searches, contacting volunteer associations, government, etc. See what is out there. This will feel tough at a time when your self esteem is low, but don’t flatter yourself — you didn’t get into difficulty by yourself, so why set the unrealistic expectation that you can get out of it by yourself?

5. Set priorities for the changes.

Review the “new you” list in terms of the length and ease of change. Even though it’s important to address the difficult long-term changes, it’s better to get a few victories under your belt first. One goal may be as simple as setting the alarm to wake up at 7:00 a.m. rather than sleeping late — so get up and set the alarm. After a few days of rising early, put a big check mark by the goal. Once you’ve made some progress on the simple goals, you’ll be better prepared for the more difficult ones.

6. Use the Serenity Prayer (or a secular version of it).

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.” You will soon discover how little of the outside world you can really change, how much about yourself you can change, and the wisdom to stop trying to change other people and situations over which you have no control.

The above steps may seem a bit “mechanical,” but the exercise of faithfully carrying them out will make your changes more manageable. Just start as soon as you can. “A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step.” Do it!

***

This post guest-blogged by Lorne Yacuk - a writer at Helium.com